Taylor Swift’s 12th album has dropped - and Euronews Culture’s resident Swiftie shares his verdict.
ADVERTISEMENT
Being a Taylor Swift fan can be exhausting.
The glorious pop gazelle has managed to put out EIGHT albums between 2020 and 2024 – including ‘Taylor’s Version’ re-recordings and new releases like last year’s sprawling ‘The Tortured Poets Department’, an actual double album which clocked in at over two hours and tested the patience of even the most devoted Swifties.
Amid that Stakhanovite-level output, she’s also jetted around the world on the highest-grossing tour of all time, during which she took the time to record her newest opus, ‘The Life of a Showgirl’.
It's not over. Artistry aside, when she’s not dominating headlines with her album reveal and defining this year’s biggest branding trend, Taylor’s hitting us with her engagement to her all-American NFL beau Travis Kelce. She even got a kind word out of Donald Trump after the announcement.
Who knew the day would come?
But let’s get down to (show)business.
For her hotly anticipated 12th album, the superstar has reteamed with Swedish pop producer-songwriters Max Martin and Shellback, who previously worked with Swift on her pop reinventions ‘Red’ and ‘1989’. By doing so, she’s clearly waving goodbye to her previous era and distancing herself from 2024's torture. But for anyone expecting some ‘Shake It Off’ or ‘Bad Blood’-sized superhits, brace yourselves because this year's 12 tracks are less maximalist and far more... well, for lack of a better word, breezy. This is Taylor sounding more relaxed and in a much sunnier disposition.
Shame it's not necessarily for the best...
‘The Life of a Showgirl’ does start off strong with terrific triple-tap. ‘The Fate of Ophelia’ is a Gagaesque opener which buttresses that sunnier, poppier mood, while ‘Elizabeth Taylor’ has catchiness to spare. Then comes early album highlight, ‘Opalite’, about the salvation of true love – no matter if it’s late on arrival. The track has a distinct Fleetwood Mac quality to it, as well as a banger of a chorus which will burrow itself into your ears for weeks to come.
After that, things go less orange and more beige.
‘Father Figure’ addresses toxic behaviour in the music industry and clearly takes aim at record exec Scooter Braun, but does so through an avalanche of clichés like "You made a deal with this devil / Turns out my dick's bigger / You want a fight, you found it / I got the place surrounded / You'll be sleeping with the fishes before you know you're drowning." It’s been billed as an “interpolation” of George Michael’s 1987 hit of the same name but never reaches the same heights. Even if the dick brag is an unexpected blast.
‘Eldest Daughter’ is delicate piano ballad that doubles down on the premature cascade of truisms (“Everybody’s so punk on the internet / Everybody’s unbothered ‘til they’re not / Every joke’s just trolling and memes / Sad as it seems, apathy is hot”) but it is redeemed by the sweet and nostalgic ‘Ruin The Friendship’, which has Swift time-travelling back to her high school days. And before the listener gets comfortable, there’s a tragic stinger at the end, making it this album’s second highlight.
‘Actually Romantic’ kicks off with a Pixies-reminiscent riff, which sounds promising. Sadly, the song barely raises a pulse, threatening to crescendo towards a belter of a chorus that never comes. The most interesting thing about it is that some shadows loom amid the apparent sunniness, with some serious shade thrown at someone who may or may not be Charli XCX. If ‘Actually Romantic’ is a response to XCX’s ‘Sympathy Is A Knife’, the barbs string.
“I heard you call me ‘Boring Barbie’ when the coke’s got you brave / High-fived my ex and then you said you’re glad he ghosted me / Wrote me a song saying it makes you sick to see my face / Some people might be offended / But it’s actually sweet / All the time you’ve spent on me.”
It’s hardly Kendrick vs Drake, but it’s acidic alright. However, like ‘Father Figure’, you wish the diss was locked into a better song.
‘Wi$h Li$t’ is pleasant enough, but serves another sizeable helping of lyrical triteness. In it, Taylor declares her love for her new fiancé and discards what others want – including yachts, “Balenci’ shades” and a Palme d’Or. Delightful, until: “I just want you, huh / Have a couple kids, got the whole block lookin' like you / We tell the world to leave us thе fuck alone, and they do, wow / Got me drеamin' 'bout a driveway with a basketball hoop.”
While wishing Taylor all the future marital bliss and suburban domestic fulfilment she deserves, is it too late to bring back The National’s Aaron Dessner, who shone on the more mature (and wittier lyricism) of the pandemic-era ‘Folklore’ and ‘Evermore’?
Elsewhere, ‘Wood’ contains Jackson 5-pilfering funky vibes which sadly go nowhere, making the track limp into ‘CANCELLED!’ - in all caps – which sounds like it’s a ‘Reputation’ era B-side. The tune is decent enough and while it’s meant to be a satirical anthem, the lyrics are once again an almighty letdown, with choice extracts including: “Did you girl-boss too close to the sun?”; “Good thing I like my friends cancelled / I like ‘em cloaked in Gucci and in scandal”; and “They stood by me / Before my exoneration / They believed I was innocent / So I'm not here for judgment.”
It’s all a bit too 2017 for comfort.
‘Honey’ is another underpowered number, before the album peaks once more for the curtain call. The titular track, featuring Sabrina Carpenter, is the third and final highlight, which has Swift singing: "And all the headshots on the walls / Of the dance hall are of the bitches / Who wish I'd hurry up and die," before delivering the punchline "But I'm immortal now, baby dolls."
Immortal, maybe. Swearier in this 12th effort, most definitely. But not immaculate.
It’s early listening days yet, but after several spins, it’s clear that all 12 songs are competently orchestrated, smoothly delivered, and feature occasional Carpenter raunchiness - especially on the track ‘Wood’ and its priapic lexical field.
That said, something’s missing.
All hackneyed temptations to attribute this lighter and edgeless album to the fact that Taylor has finally found her happy ending with a romantic relationship that seems to be here to stay should be banished. The line of thought that heartache is creative catalyst and that happiness dulls the wit is proven but platitudinous. That said, maybe she should’ve taken a break before coming back.
Not that her work ethic isn't inspiring - and doesn’t seem to be entirely human... Seriously, when does she sleep? However, with playful but uninspired lyrics like “Please God, bring me a best friend who I think is hot”, a sabbatical is needed.
Not to worry. Prior to its release, ’The Life of a Showgirl’ was already breaking records; there’s an already successful tie-in movie currently in cinemas; and as always, die-hard Swifties will hyperbolically champion this latest album as her greatest yet and tear down all who think differently. But for all those who don’t ascribe to too much idolatry or who won’t be found combing through Taylor’s new release for Easter eggs, here’s the bottom line: ‘The Life of a Showgirl’ is more concise than ‘The Tortured Poets Department’ and better than 2022’s ‘MIDnights’. But it does feel a bit boilerplate.
It certainly doesn’t live up to the (frequently exhausting) fanfare.
Taylor Swift's 'The Life of a Showgirl' is out now.
