'Gates of hell': Euronews reporter gives his own deeply personal account of Gaza horror

Palestinian children wounded in Israeli strikes are brought to Shifa Hospital in Gaza City on Wednesday, Oct. 11, 2023.
Palestinian children wounded in Israeli strikes are brought to Shifa Hospital in Gaza City on Wednesday, Oct. 11, 2023. Copyright Ali Mahmoud/Copyright 2023 The AP. All rights reserved.
Copyright Ali Mahmoud/Copyright 2023 The AP. All rights reserved.
By Nebal Hajjo
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"It is not safe. Leave your dreams and memories as they are torn apart by the fangs of a monster."

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Euronews correspondent Nebal Hajjo has given a harrowing first-person account of trying to cover events on the ground in Gaza, amid Israel's unrelenting strikes:

“One day, the sky opened the gates of hell over Gaza and human bodies began to spin in unknown circles. The compass was lost and it was no longer possible to know which direction we would leave. 

"Everyone listens to the news. Perhaps we realise that we are still alive and are able to continue. But then we are told to leave this place. It is not safe. Leave your house. It is not safe. Leave your bed and mattress. It is not safe. Leave your dreams and memories until they are torn apart by the fangs of a monster. 

"We all run to nowhere into the unknown. We try to feel a little warmth. We ask each other where to go and no one knows the answer. Millions of thoughts run through our heads. To where? From where? How? When? Will we die? And in what way? These thoughts do not stop.

"We think of our families, our children, our fathers and our mothers. We hope they are still alive, waiting for an answer to the same questions we have not answered. 

"The sound of a new explosion shakes us. It reminds me that I must work even though I do not know where to start. Over which bodies will I step today? What screams I will hear? Which child's toy will I see lying in the street? Should I pick up this toy or look for its owner? I do not know the answer to this question that has been running through my head through years and years of war.

FILE: Euronews Gaza correspondent Nebal Hajjo
FILE: Euronews Gaza correspondent Nebal HajjoEuronews

"I remember my work. I need a small space, a computer. The electricity is not available, so what should I do? The internet is gone too. I will have to search for them again. Maybe I will be lucky and find all these things. 

"I have to work not because I love to work a lot, and not because I need money, but because I believe the truth must never die, and that in this moment of time it may find someone who will listen.

"I was reading the Divine Comedy by Dante a while ago and now I watch a lot of what Dante talked about - not in Hell, but here on earth. And not for the dead, but the living. 

"The sun is almost setting. I must return, but where? To any place I can sleep. Oh, how I long to sleep, but all the images I saw during the day enter my mind at once. I am afraid to close my eyes. Not because I fear the dark, but so I can see if there is a missile or shell heading towards us. 

"Thoughts keep circling in my head for hours like a little demon until my body gives in from fatigue. A few hours later I will open my eyes and tell myself how cruel this nightmare was. But the sound of a new explosion reminds me it was no nightmare. 

“Fear has taken control of everyone. People have lost hope of living another day. It is as if they are waiting for death, which for them has become hidden in the smallest details of their lives, even in the air they breathe. Those fleeing to hospital courtyards in fear of death think they might be protected within these walls. Now feel that they have lost even that."

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