With more and more marriages ending in divorce, plenty of couples are eager to figure out the secret to a happily ever after.
Somebody has taken to Reddit to ask happily married users for the piece of advice they wish everybody knew when it came to having a successful relationship.
In less than 24 hours, there have already been over 400 comments on the thread and people have been offering their honest – and hilarious – advice. Below are 15 of the most common tips that they shared:
1. Maintain Your Independence
One tip that almost everyone agreed on is that it is essential to maintain your independence even when you are in a relationship. You have to tend to your own needs if you want to be able to give your partner what they need, as well. Don’t abandon your hobbies or spend all of your time with your partner. Instead, spend some of your time on your own, nurturing yourself and doing things that you enjoy. Maintaining a strong sense of self in a relationship is important. When you spend time alone, you have a chance to evaluate how you are doing on a personal level so that you can make sure that you are following your values and working toward your goals.
If you become too dependent on your partner, on the other hand, it is easy to wind up sacrificing your own needs. Your partner fell in love with you because of who you are. While it is only natural for a relationship to change you, you should also work hard to maintain your own unique personality and to pursue the things that interest you most.
2. Learn How To Truly Listen
Active listening is one of the most important skills that you can develop if you are in a relationship according to marriage help professionals. In many cases, just being there and being willing to listen is the only thing that your partner needs from you. Learning how to really hear what your partner is saying can make a huge difference in your relationship.
When you really listen to someone, it makes them feel appreciated and lets them know that you care. When your partner is talking, make eye contact with them and really pay attention to what they are saying. Don’t play on your phone or watch TV. If you want to create a successful marriage, learning how to listen is one of the most important steps.
3. Understand That You Won’t Always Agree
When you are in a relationship with someone, there are naturally some things that you won’t agree on. While many of these things may be small and insignificant, others might be a lot larger. Disagreements are normal – after all, you are two individual people with different backgrounds and different beliefs. The key to success in a marriage, however, is learning to respect your partner’s views, even if you don’t agree with them. When you can’t reach a resolution on something, do your best to let it go, acknowledging that you and your partner just see differently on that point of view and that neither one of you is necessarily wrong.
4. Learn How To Communicate In A Loving Manner
In psychology, one subject that is commonly studied is how people communicate feelings of love. Everyone has their own individual way of communicating feelings of love and support. When you understand your partner’s preferred method of communication, you can more easily let them know how much you care about them.
To learn how your partner expresses love, keep an eye on all of the nice things that they do for you or for others that they love. Do you always wake up to freshly ironed shirts? Do you find little love notes tucked away in your pockets? Do you get surprised with fresh flowers when you least expect them? Once you learn how your partner expresses love, you can communicate your feelings back to them in a way that they will understand. When you learn to speak the same love language as your partner, it is a lot easier to let them know exactly how you feel, which can help keep your relationship strong.
5. Accept Your Partner For Who They Are
Try to avoid nagging or picking at your partner in an effort to make them change. You fell in love with your partner for a reason. Trying to change them now doesn’t make any sense. Not only that but any attempts to force someone else to change often backfire.
Work on accepting your partner, flaws and all. Instead of zeroing in on the things that you are unhappy with about your partner, focus on the things that you love about them.
6. Acknowledge Your Role When Things Go Wrong
In a relationship, it is important to acknowledge anything that you do wrong or any areas where you fall short. For instance, if you and your partner wind up arguing about something, don’t put all of the blame on them. Instead, look at the role that you played in the argument. Did you say anything hurtful that you now regret? How could you have acted differently to prevent things from becoming so contentious. Being able to acknowledge your role in challenging situations can make a big difference in your ability to successfully resolve problems.
7. Appreciate Each Other
When you are with someone for a long time, it is easy to become complacent, taking them for granted. Unfortunately, this can slowly eat away at your relationship, destroying it from within. Falling into a routine where you don’t appreciate your partner is a recipe for disaster.
Try to keep things fresh by always finding new ways to let your partner know how much you appreciate them. Chances are, they will reciprocate and do the same for you.