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A seal slapped a kayaker with an octopus? All this and more in this edition of No Comments of the week.

The biennial World Pole Championships kicked off in the East of England earlier this week, where climbers, donning spiked shoes and a strop, have to top a 25-metre pole in the quickest time to win.

In New Zealand, officers from the North Shore, Rodney and West Auckland police performed a passionate Maori Haka at their graduation ceremony earlier this month. Men and women of both Maori and non-Maori descent took part in the war dance which all Kiwi officers learn during training.

Further south, while on a trip to Kaikoura on New Zealand’s Southern Island, a kayaker was left stunned after a seal emerged from the seawater and viciously slapped him in the face with an octopus.

In an interview with the BBC the kayaker, Kyle Masuda, said: "We were just trying to shoot cute seals, but it ended up being very brutal."

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