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Eurovision: watch and judge the songs right now! (Part 3)

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Eurovision: watch and judge the songs right now! (Part 3)

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All 39 Eurovision Song Contest entries are already available to watch online on

Not patient enough to wait for the big day, we have had a sneaky preview look and passed our own judgement.

We have graded each song according to both our own personal tastes and to what we think its chances are of success.

Here is the third selection: these are six songs that will be performed in Semi-Final 1 on Tuesday, May 14.

Who the hell are we to judge?
The euronews jury is made up of three music-loving but unfortunately not music-playing journalists, who reserve the right to be honest while trying to remain respectful to the performers: Mark Davis (normally found listening to Pearl Jam, Jake Bugg, the Stone Roses), Thomas Seymat (Alt-J, Franck Ocean, Daft Punk) and Marie Jamet (Marvin Gaye, Pulp, Clinic).


Alyona Lanskaya – Solayoh

TS: Generic euro dance peppered with Eastern and Latino gimmicks, like a cheap Shakira knockoff. The music video breaks grounds in costume kitsch, though, with latex hoodie, male dancers in leather harness, and three-finger gloves. 1 point, 60-1 to win.
MJ: Thomas said it all really: pseudo latino euro dance, stealing gimmicks from the likes of Shakira (for example there are lots of silly little terms like ‘chacha’, ‘haha’, ‘chokechoke’) and fantastic video with costumes you’ve never seen in your wildest dreams/nightmares: open dress on black bra, leather chest straps, leather calf straps, shiny and baggy latex hoodie. And, and…a very cheap-looking choreography that you could easily learn in your ‘modern jazz’ dance class… 3 points for trying, 70-1 to win.


Aliona Moon - O Mie

TS: Despite the cheesy strings in the background, this song is almost bearable for an Eurovision solo performance. It is not the most original on its kind, but the vocal talent of the singer should wow the public in Malmö. 5 points, 25-1 to win.
MJ: Definitely not my cup of tea but a somewhat interesting (if a little complicated) melody sung in an intriguing language that you just don’t hear very often. That said, I was a bit too distracted by the video, being reminded first of the French singer Mylène Farmer, then the old TV show The Prisoner (?!) you know the part where she gets chased by a giant balloon? Anyway, then it becomes some kind of detergent advert with a load of coloured scarves floating in the air (“Eurovision protects the colour of your laundry”). Unlike Thomas, I think the melody is too sad to win Eurovision. Anyhow, dear Aliona, I’ll be seeing you. 4 points, 60-1 to win.


Ryan Dolan - Only Love Survives

TS: This song is such a succession of clichés and Euro dance gimmicks that it feels like an evil scientist came up with the perfect mathematic formula for the typical Eurovision dance hit. It won’t prevent the many remixes of the song to provide a summer soundtrack for European vacationers from the Black Sea to the Canaries Island. 5 points, 50-1 to win.
MD: Evil scientist? The video is full of people making heart shapes and generally spreading love, so if it was an evil scientist, he sucks at being evil. Uplifting house, uplifting message, and it’s late spring. Just what this continent needs right now dammit. 10 points. 8-1 to win.


Despina Olympiou – An Me Thimáse

MD: The song title translates as “If You Remember Me”. I won’t. Cyprus will need more than its usual 12 points from Greece to make the final with this song, and I can’t see it happening. Nul point, 200-1 to win.
MJ: Oh geez, I can’t think of much to say about this song. This is so flat, I can’t even make light of it. The clip is tasteless, what with the religious icon dress and the ‘oh-no-stop-chasing-me-in-the-forest-in-the-night’ scene. 0 points 150-1 to win.


Roberto Bellarosa – Love Kills

MD: Where the Irish song was happy, this one leaves you wondering if Roberto and his dancers even got paid. They just look so sulky. And whereas the Irish song was called ‘Only Love Survives’, this one is called ‘Love Kills’. If both are true then Love is one cruel, unscrupulous customer that murders its way to world domination. And what’s with the trend this year of short, aborted dub-step sequences? This song is quite ‘catchy’ though; it came unannounced and uninvited back into my head hours after hearing it. But it has put me in a bad mood. Nul points. 80-1 to win.
TS: A song as smooth and overproduced as Roberto’s haircut. And just as unoriginal and unexciting. 3 points. 50-1 to win.


Moje 3 - Ljubav je svuda

TS: A decent pop tune, scantily-clad young aspiring pop stars etc. the type of which Eurovision churns out by the dozen. Unfortunately for the Serbian trio, it shouldn’t leave its mark in the contest’s history. 3 points, 45-1 to win.
MD: Are Moje 3 the kind of women who men love to look at and other women don’t really like (without ever having actually met them)? If they are, Moje 3 might struggle to take Serbia to the final. I only mention the women thing because I have completely forgotten everything about the song. Nul points, 200-1 to win.

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